The Kidnapping 23 April 2000

On this day 20 years ago - my life took a drastic turn. Something happened which I did not plan. I did not expect. I was not prepared for. And in the end it changed my life forever.

It was on the evening of the 23rd April 2000 when a group of armed men besieged the holiday resort I was at and loaded, in a matter of minutes, loaded 21 of us onto two wooden boats. As we sailed into the darkness and open ocean and I saw the light of Sipadan Island disappear,  I could not comprehend was happening. Even more - what was waiting for us.

No one can prepare you to survive what we did. Having to face an unforgiving jungle with only the clothes on our bodies.  Our lives in the hands of a rebel group known for the beheading of hostages. Attacked by a military who worried more about "wiping them out"  rather than "getting them out".  And four months of the uncertainty of when death will strike or when freedom will arrive. A roller coaster of emotions lifting you from incredible highs and dropping you deep into dark despair.

Someone once asked me that, if I could choose, would I want it any different?  I look back and I am not sure who I survived that. And the other question is - would I be doing what I am doing today - dedicating my life to helping others.

Yes, of course I would like to have been able to choose and easier path. And yes - I am sure somewhere and somehow I would be helping people today - because that is just who I am and who I have been all my life.

During that time I realised that the journey is so much easier if you acknowledge the "bigger plan" - you might not see it in that moment as you are standing in the storm, but one day you will look back and it will be clear.

I discovered that forgiveness is the ultimate tool for freedom. I forgave these people the night they walked into our resort. With that forgiveness came acceptance and disappeared hate and bitterness.  I was free long before millions were paid as a ransom. Forgiveness was my ransom.

That journey is so much easier if you surround yourself with people who care about you and whom you care about. I ended up with 19 strangers next to me as we were hiding away from the bullets. Before we got onto those two boats I knew nothing of them. But we needed each other and we helped and supported each other. This was one of the greatest blessings looking back - the incredible friendships that grew from there! We need each other. We need friends to hug us and tell us they love us. To be a phone call away when we are going through a rough patch. Or to be that shoulder when they need to feel loved.

Lastly - I learned to take the focus off me. I discovered that my suffering is not unique or isolated. That by helping others my personal strength and value grew.  That it gave my suffering a purpose and that I would be blessed by the smiles and love of those I can touch.

Twenty years later - I am still the same person - but incredibly more blessed!